Unless you’re like me and receive the twice-daily Joaquin Phoenix fan club newsletter, you may not have heard that the Walk The Line star had supposedly retired from acting and has resurfaced in his new career as a rapper.
And while rumors are circulating that it’s all a big publicity-stunt hoax, Joa-Pho actually looks convincingly pumped on that stage.
So somewhere between the beatboxing and labored air-spanking, it seemed to me like a good idea to explore who else in history took the path less traveled, either improving themselves in the process, or left sucking the brittle teat of humiliation.
Close Calls With The Lord
- Martin Scorsese: The iconic director of Goodfellas and The Departed initially wanted to become a priest while growing up. Thankfully, he discovered filmmaking before taking any vows, but he still paid loving tribute to his faith by making The Last Temptation of Christ.
- Eva Mendes: It’s difficult to comprehend, but prior to her film career, the beautiful Eva Mendes wanted to become a nun. God: 0, Mankind: 1.
Alter-Ego
- Chris Gaines: Remember Chris Gaines? This strapping country rebel was created as a badass alter-ego to Garth Brooks. But other than sparking an international obsession with soul patches, Gaines did nothing for his career and was regarded as a ridiculously laughable publicity stunt.
Career Switches
- Michael Jordan: At the height of his impeccable basketball career, Air Jordan decided to retire (temporarily) and instead pursue professional baseball, in the wake of his father’s murder. Despite the emotional relevance of his decision, it didn’t work out too well (to put it politely). That period of time between October 3, 1993 and March 18, 1995 is one that everyone in Chicago would like to forget. We must never speak of this again.
- Jesse “The Body” Ventura: Why? How? It’s difficult to comprehend how Minnesota elected a former pro wrestler who would later assert that September 11th was a government conspiracy. But in his defense, he did institute mass transit reform.
Tags: music, unusual jobs
