I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m saying it.

I’d like to take a moment to thank The Recession.

Thank you, Recession, for forcing movie theaters to cut costs so that I can still have a little enjoyment between pulling my hair out every time I look at my bank account. (Because pretty soon I’m gonna need a weave.)

I give you, the Five Buck Club.

This is so awesome, we need a new word for awesome.

The Gist:
You sign up.
It’s 100% free. No fee at any time.
You get a little card in the mail.
Next time you want to go see a movie when it’s in theaters without waiting for the DVD release a year later, you tote your handy-dandy card and hold it up to the teller and yell, “SHA-ZAM!” and get into the movie for only $5.

(Note: You do not have to say shazam. But I sure as hell will.)

While this card is only good at Kerasotes Theaters, there’s a lot of them. And before you sign up you can check which theaters in your area participate.

The only slight catch is you have to wait until the movie is out a few weeks. But who cares? Opening weeks are too crowded anyway. Watching movies in the front row sucks ass. I’m done doing that forever.

And, the website will even send you email updates of what movies you can see that week for just 5 bucks. Like the sexy personal assistant you never had.

You know what this means: more money for stale nachos and over-priced Sour Patch Kids!

Hello bigger wallet wad, goodbye skinny jeans.

Harmony in the world is finally restored.