Sometimes it’s a little hard to keep perspective on things when life seems to be kicking your ass all over the place. I mean we all know that people are worse off than we are, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that, especially when you’re having a bad day.
Probably the worst is the guy at the office who seems to have a sixth sense about your bad day, and comes over to your desk to play “Whose Life Sucks The Worst”. Misery loves company, not competition, and there’s nothing more irritating than someone negating what a shitty day you’ve had.
But, I’m going to do that right now.
I have found the one person, on the planet, who has definitely had a worse day than you. I don’t even have to hear about your day to tell you that she wins, hands down.
I’ll go ahead and repeat that.
A pregnant woman got hit by a car while running away from a goddamn bear.
And she was fine, save a couple of scratches and bruises.
This woman deserves an award. She is the toughest person alive. Her kid will probably be born with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, an AK-47 and a tattoo of a flaming skull.
I would imagine your economic concerns kind of fall by the wayside when the bear shows up. But when you get hit by the car, there’s no way you give a crap about the state of the economy anymore. And then I got to thinking…that’s what this site is for.
To make us all feel better about the shitty state of things.
This bear has stolen our thunder.
And we need to steal it back.
There is only one way to make this right.
Hassan needs to find a bear suit, and chase people around the streets of Chicago. I know it seems extreme given what happened to the last bear, but sacrifices must be made in order to secure our place in the world.
He might be opposed to this idea, as I’ve not cleared it with him first. However, that is not any of my concern. I’m here because I can see the bigger picture, and what needs to be done.
Plus, it’ll give people one hell of a story to one up that guy at the office with.
Comments (2)
Dude, I’m totally calling you Brown Bear from now on.
Hey if JD from Scrubs can do it, so can I.
i could be a “brown” bear. get it? a “brown” b– ah never mind.
anyways, why must nature be so damn racist? everyone wants to save the WHITE polar bears, but no one gives a crap about the brown or black bears.
but then again, everyone loves those panda bears. and i love asian people. so hey, i guess it’s no big deal after all!