We’ve all read the depressing stories about families losing their homes, people being evicted, and businesses having to close their doors.

Even though these situations tend to suck, most of us can relax a little bit knowing that regardless of our situation, we are still somewhat protected from things like wild animals and nature, because as humans we have done our best to either shoot the animals or lock them away in cages.

So one can only imagine that these animals are not thrilled with us. Which is fine, because they can’t get to us, and that works for me.

So what do you do when the economy sucks so bad that even the animals are getting evicted?

New York City’s Bronx Zoo, the largest metropolitan wildlife preserve in the United States, is being hit hard by the economy. To prevent a $15 million budget shortfall, zoo officials are closing four exhibits and evicting all their occupants, estimated to number in the hundreds of animals.

Zoo officials admitted in a New York City Cultural Affairs Committee meeting today that they are forced to relocate the suddenly homeless deer, bats, foxes, antelopes and other animals to zoos around the country.

Yes. Our economy is so bad that we can no longer afford to use and abuse everything on earth like it’s our god given right.

And then I got to thinking. Quite a few of the people who caused this colossal shit storm reside in New York. No one is using their offices anymore, and most of them are currently looking for new employment.

I say relocate the animals into the offices no longer being used, with the executives that got us into this mess. Stick a few cameras in that bad boy and let all of America watch.

It takes care of dealing with the animals, the people that caused this mess, and the fact that there’s absolutely nothing worth watching on TV.