Forget the recession. No, seriously, forget it.
Scientists have found a way to erase bad memories.
This is so full of awesome it’s shocking. And so chock full of possibilities.
Laid off? Slip one to your boss and go to the office like nothing happened. Bad breakup that left you bitter and hating the entire opposite sex? Not anymore. It’s a hell of a lot easier than burning that stupid T-shirt he gave you. Saw “Catwoman” in the theater? We can now take care of that for you.
Some ethical people are all whining about possible abuses of it. They can whine all they want, I am going to sit here with my pretty red pill and forget all about it.
When it comes out, I’m buying the biggest bottle they make. Recession? What recession? I don’t remember any recession. And neither will you if you drink the Kool-aid.
Comments (6)
“What if it erases, oh, I dunno, memories of when/when not to poop in your pants?”
At your age I thought that was a distant memory anyhow
…they involve a trip to Tijuana, a midget with a pint of tequila and a donkey.
There are some things I’ll never be able to forget. Unspeakable things.
I wonder if this is the result of the research from those guys that were featured on ‘This American Life’. I find it fascinating that you can have a pill discern between good memories and bad memories. What if it fucks up? How does it know which memory to erase?! What if it erases, oh, I dunno, memories of when/when not to poop in your pants?
I would also like a pill to erase the memory of ConMan’s nasty parachute pants/mullet combo. Way to go, Joe Dirt.
I require pictures of the parachute pants and mullet before I tell you.
For research purposes.
WOW! Does this mean I can permanently and irrevocably wipe the memories of my two divorces, every Lindsay Lohan film ever made, George W. Bush’s presidency, all of the Backstreet Boys/NSYNC/Hanson/Jonas Brothers CDs and that nasty parachute pants/mullet combo I had in the 80’s?
Where do I sign?