I know I write a lot about rich people buying anything: Foos Ball tables worth more than a car, $8 ice cubes, and New York City’s finest garbage. But I have found an object that has just taken this entire trend too far.

I present to you, Tame The Bear readers, a place that has the balls to sell a $900 bong. Although they are not advertised to be used with marijuana (only tobacco, dude), let’s just break it down. They are charging almost a grand for drug paraphernalia.

Now, I get it. Some people are accustomed to a certain lifestyle and the luxuries that it can afford. And it sure beats the hell out of a makeshift bong you make out of a soda bottle (so I’ve heard), but a $900 bong to pass around while sharing $20 worth of pot with your friends? Really?

Generally speaking, the stoners I know would be much happier smoking pot out of a $20 bong, with $900 worth of pot in their possession.

I can’t wrap my head around the idea of spending that much money for something you generally would have to hide from view. (Unless you are my mom, who thought her first roommate’s 3 foot bamboo bong was a vase and proudly displayed it on the coffee table).

The one thing I know from high school and college, through second hand knowledge because I myself would never do anything like this, is that bongs get broken all the time. Typically because you’re high as shit when you’re using them. I don’t know about you, but if I decided to get ripped off of my ass, I probably would try to keep my hands off of things I own that cost more than a month’s worth of rent.

Maybe I’m off the mark here. Maybe there’s something extraordinary about these pieces of glassware. Perhaps there’s a secret compartment that holds an emergency stash of Cheetos. Or maybe there are the numbers of every local food place that delivers etched into the glass. But unless it somehow makes an average bag of weed somehow potent enough to make you confuse yourself with God, or magically turns bong water into green kool-aid, I am not impressed.

Tags: asshats, expensive crap