According to the dictionary, a tip is “a small present of money given directly to someone for performing a service or menial task; gratuity.”

I’ve worked and slaved in the food service industry on and off for 10 years. I know what it’s like to meet ridiculous demands from ignorant patrons — like ordering several drinks that contain ONLY 4 ice cubes. So with a section full of hungry people, I’m trying to scoop out single ice cubes with a huge shovel. (Trust me, it’s not easy. And REALLY annoying when you’re in a rush.)

And after my award-winning service and a (phony) smile, I cannot tell you the rage I’d feel once I looked at the check, only to discover a bare-bones next-to-nothing tip.

(Note: Due to those painful memories, I always give 20%.)

Back to the definition of tip — it is meant to be given after receiving a service– you tip the bellhop, the valet, the stripper, or any other profession in which people are taking care of you.

Scanning my $1.99 Vitamin Water, however, does NOT warrant a tip.

Tip jars are like herpes. They are popping up everywhere I go these days.

The most recent culprits? Starbucks and 711.

Let me express why the tip jar at Starbucks annoys me.

My friend was going through the drive-thru, and the employee literally held the tip jar out the window when taking his money. I could see if he got some crazy-ass grande three-pump non-fat skinny extra hot freshly ground triple cream latte, but all he got was a regular coffee. You get a cup, hold it under the spout, pull the lever, and put on the lid.

Does 10 seconds of effort count as a service?

Likewise, at the 711 next to my apartment, there is a tip jar. I have to laugh every time I see it. Especially because the “service” there is the WORST! There’s always a line. That’s because one employee is usually having a phone conversation with her friend (for all to hear) about her two-timing boyfriend, while the other moves like every bone in her body is broken. When it takes 8 minutes to get one drink that I go and get myself, that ain’t good service in my book.

Although, I am pretty involved in that woman’s relationship saga, as a result.

Perhaps I’ll put this in the tip jar: “If he keeps cheating on you, he doesn’t love you. Leave him and find a new guy so you can be happy and do your job.”

I think that’s better than 20%.