I usually start my day by screwing around on the internet to see which celebrity forgot their underpants today, what good professional advice is out there, and to see if Wall Street has been set on fire yet. Usually, none of the articles are remarkable, and the ones that are tend to be remarkable in the bad way.

Yesterday morning I found one of those articles.

The entire article which I won’t link here because it took all morning for the hives to go away, is based around the fact that our society is materialistic and individualistic at the same time. This is not new or exciting.

It then goes on to give you advice on how to stand out from others, and project your “personal prestige” (I am not making this up).

Some of their suggestions?

Tailor your home to the image you want to project. A fan of the nightlife? A downtown loft could work. Maybe a home in the suburbs is better to relax in. They then go on to suggest saunas, indoor pools and tennis courts.

Find a car that sets you apart, they say. A car that no one can ignore when you drive past in it. Their suggestions? Rolls Royce, or a Ferrari. I am not kidding.

Then they really drive it home with the suggestion that you collect original pieces of artwork from notable artists. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of the art world, and I absolutely believe in investing in quality pieces from local up and coming artists. But famous artists? That’s going to cost.

And then it occurred to me. All of this costs a shitload of money. A home with a tennis court? A Ferrari? Your own collection of Dali?

Have you lost your goddamn minds?!

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People are being laid off all over the place, and this pretentious dick is suggesting buying multi-million dollar works of art to show the rest of the world that you’re powerful?

Their idea is that it takes power to get power. So it’s OK to spend lavishly, as the right people will notice you.

I don’t know, call me crazy, but isn’t that how we got into this hot mess in the first place?

Here’s the deal, as plain and simple as I can make it. You want people to think you’re powerful and capable? Do your job, and do it well. Don’t miss opportunities to network, and always go the extra mile to get what you want.

And stop buying crap you don’t need to impress people who don’t matter.

To the guy who wrote the original article? I might not have a power symbol to show you, but I have a hand gesture you might be familiar with.